Move over December 25th, theologians have a new date to get excited about… October 31st. God’s First Annual Heavenly Halloween Bash was a hit of supernatural proportions.
For one night only, St. Peter threw open the gates of Heaven and it was the hottest ticket in town. God spared no expense for the lavish festivities, determined to make it the most memorable experience in eternity. “I created the Heaven and the Earth in like 6 days,” said God. “I’m pretty sure I can handle some bullshit Halloween party.”
And handle it he did. With everything from a haunted cloud and bobbing for fruit from the tree of knowledge, to a “build your own woman” rib station and a Hell-themed photo booth, the party was getting rave reviews from all the guests from start to finish.
The guest list was a veritable who’s who… Michael, Gabriel, Uriel, Raphael, Ghandi, Liz Taylor, Albert Einstein, Mother Teresa, Steve Jobs, and even Jacob Davies, a 6-year old that had been hit by a car while riding his bike that morning.
A surprise invite on the list was Satan himself, who seemed somewhat taken aback by the gesture. “Shocked I would say is the only way to describe it. For Milena God and I have been duking it out over the soul of man. But something like this really makes you take a step back and think, ‘what are we doing?'”
The night that many didn’t wish to see end came to its conclusion with the costume contest. As he’s want to do, God lay judgment, and perhaps unsurprisingly, gave first place (and a $20 iTunes Card) to his son, Jesus Christ, who dressed as Psy of Gangnam Style fame.